Co-parenting is an essential part of divorce and child custody. When you end a marriage, the children become the only thing connecting you and your ex-spouse, making positive communication very important for your child. To help make this co-parenting relationship work as smoothly as possible, here are some tips to help.
Choose one main way to communicate
It can be confusing when parents use many different ways to talk, like calling, texting and emailing all the time. Instead, you can try to agree on one main way to communicate. This could be a shared online calendar for scheduling and appointments, a special app for co-parents or even just one email address. This helps prevent misunderstandings and makes the child custody aspect of divorce work.
Focus on your child’s needs
When parents are upset, arguments can happen easily. But it’s important to remember what’s best for your child. Before you send a message or make a call, ask yourself: “Does my child really need this information?”
If you’re just angry or want to win an argument, it’s better to wait. You should stick to talking about things directly related to your child, like school events, doctor appointments or activities.
Sometimes, less direct contact is better
Talking directly can be very difficult when parents have a lot of conflict. In these situations, “parallel parenting” might be a better approach. Parallel parenting means limiting direct contact with the other parent and focusing on managing your time with your child. This involves:
- Setting clear boundaries
- Using the agreed-upon communication method only for essential information
- Avoiding personal conversations
While it’s ideal for co-parents to communicate well, parallel parenting recognizes this isn’t always possible. This helps create a more stable and predictable environment for the child, even when direct communication between parents is challenging.