If you’ve been married to a narcissist for any length of time, you are probably used to tamping down your own needs to cater to theirs.
Self-care during a divorce is always essential, but maybe even more so if your former spouse exhibits narcissistic behavior.
You’re stronger than you think
You are already familiar with the manipulation, lack of empathy and the tendency to blame others that are part of a narcissist’s behavior. You likely endured gaslighting, verbal attacks and control tactics throughout your marriage. Your divorce proceedings are more of the same, with them turning everything into a battle and distorting facts to make you look like the villain.
Self-care is not indulgent or a luxury. It’s vital for your mental health and healing. Here are some strategies you can implement to help you through this difficult time:
- Set boundaries: Narcissists like to find ways to push your buttons in hopes of goading you into an argument. Limit your communication to emails so interactions have less emotional impact. Decide which topics are off-limits and be consistent with consequences when they cross the line.
- Lean on your friends and family: You may be feeling isolated, especially if your ex-partner tried to alienate you from people you care about. Reach out to your loved ones and surround yourself with friends and family who truly care for you and can provide emotional support.
- Rediscover yourself: You are used to minimizing your own needs and feelings and may have lost touch with yourself. It’s time to reconnect with your identity and rebuild your self-confidence. Express yourself by journaling your thoughts and feelings. Pursue old hobbies that used to interest you.
- Take care of your body: Strong bodies and strong minds go together. Stress takes a toll on your physical health, leading to poor sleep, lowered immune function and multiple health issues. Keep your focus on the three pillars of good health: sleep, regular physical activity and balanced meals. Start small and build on your successes.
Divorcing a narcissist is hard, but you’re not alone in your battle. Work with a legal professional who is used to dealing with narcissistic personalities. They can help you stand firm and reclaim your life.