Back-to-school season can be challenging for any parent. For those who are recently separated, it can be very stressful.
If this is the first new school year since you started parenting separately or your child is starting a new school (or both), truly “co-parenting” your child will be key. Remember that your child is likely feeling anxious and uncertain, so the smoother you can make things for them, the better off they will be.
Regardless of your relationship with your co-parent, it’s critical to keep your lines of communication open and amicable. Let’s look at a few key elements of co-parenting your school-age child.
Determine how expenses will be shared
If you already have a child support order in place, that probably covers the larger school expenses like tuition (if it’s a private school), uniforms and maybe supplies. However, there are myriad other expenses that will need to be addressed – from lunch money and field trip fees to musical instruments and sports equipment.
It’s critical that your child not have to go back and forth between you to get these paid for or to hear either of you blame the other for not having the money to cover various extras. Forming a united front is key.
Remain involved and informed without conflict
Make sure the necessary people at the school have both sets of contact information (assuming you share parenting time and responsibilities) so you both get the same information, including report cards and notification of any discipline or other issues. It’s important to continue to attend school and extracurricular events, even if you do so separately. It’s typically best when co-parents can attend parent-teacher conferences together.
Maintain consistent rules and expectations
You can minimize the effect of your break-up on your child’s education by having consistent rules and expectations in both homes. Having the same basic rules, like homework before screen time and set school night bedtimes, helps kids see that their parents are still a team when it comes to their education.
If the new school year brings the need for modifications to your child-related agreements (or to put temporary ones in place if you haven’t reached that part of the divorce process), having experienced legal guidance will help you do what’s best for your child.