You know that the way you tell your children about an upcoming divorce is going to impact how they take the news and how they react to it moving forward. You definitely want this conversation to go smoothly.
But how do you do it? It is natural to be nervous about exactly how you should break the news, so here are some tips that can help.
Do not blame anyone
First and foremost, do not start this conversation by blaming your ex. Reiterate to the children that they are also not to blame. Kids often feel like they are responsible, even if they had nothing to do with it. You and your ex should strive to present a united front and show that you both care about the kids.
Tell them all at once
It can be an issue if you try to tell your children one at a time, as some may find out about the divorce from a sibling or through the grapevine. It is usually best to tell everyone at the same time, during a family meeting. You may still want to have one-on-one conversations after that, but you at least ensure that all of your children find out together.
Focus on stability
Do what you can to keep routines the same during the divorce. Answer children’s questions about custody or who is going to take care of them. Focus on your children’s best interests and try to provide as much stability as you can. A divorce can be a tumultuous experience, but stability can give children a sense of calm and security.
As you move toward the divorce, be sure you are well aware of all of your legal child custody rights and the necessary steps to take.