Are you and your spouse gritting your teeth from trying not to snap at one another while getting through the winter holidays? That’s a rough spot to be in, especially when children are involved.
Below are some tips to help you get through the holiday season prior to filing for divorce.
Understand that holidays are inherently stressful
It’s completely understandable to get stressed during the holidays. Even for happily married couples, the winter holidays can push all their buttons. For couples planning to divorce, the stressors multiply fast.
It’s perfectly acceptable to scale back your holiday plans this year if it makes better sense for you and the kids. You might not be up to a huge family get-together, so planning a quieter dinner with just your nuclear family might be better this year.
Getting back to the basics
If your joy trough is nearly empty, you may have to fake it until you make it. Alternatively, now is a good time to get back to the basics. Focusing on the nonsecular aspects of the season according to your religious traditions can help you find gratitude and maybe even a little joy. So, too, can volunteering to shop for and feed the disadvantaged population.
Keep the kids front and center
If you and your spouse focus on the kids’ needs, you’ll have less time to worry about your own unhappiness with each other. If you can’t muster the enthusiasm to share experiences with your spouse, work out a schedule where one parent takes the kids to go look at the seasonal displays and lights while the other stays home brewing hot chocolate and baking cookies for their return.
Use this time to prepare
While both parents still have access to the home, it’s important to make copies of financial documents and strategize about the divorce. Who will file, and which spouse will remain at home with the kids? Figuring these things out now can pave the way for a smoother divorce process.