After you and your co-parent have chosen a custody schedule, you should inform your child about it. They need to know what to expect. Understanding the custody schedule can help reduce anxiety and confusion.
Here are three tips you can use during your conversation:
Reassure them of your love
When you sit down with your child, start the conversation by informing them that you have agreed on how they will be moving between the two homes. Then, let them know that you both love them and enjoy spending time with them. If possible, you and the other parent should both be present during the conversation.
Explain the schedule using simple terms
Help your child understand the custody schedule using simple terms. If they are younger, you can use visual aids. For example, on a digital or physical calendar, mark the days they will be with each parent with different colors or your photos. Let them exercise by marking a few weeks on the calendar.
It also helps to mark other important days, such as exchange days, movie days, playdates, holidays, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, school breaks and so on. Consider displaying a marked physical calendar on the fridge to make it easier for your child.
Inform them that they can contact both parents
Let your child know that they can contact both parents at any time. Being at one parent’s home does not mean they can’t communicate with the other. Doing this is crucial, as it’s not uncommon for children to believe that talking to the other parent is a betrayal of the parent they are currently with.
A child needs to understand how they will be spending time with both parents after a divorce. Learn more about other ways to help your child cope with their new life.